Oh my God, Oh my God, please help us Amazing Race Canada

051__ODX1474Today, I feel a bit lonely. Gord isn't here writing next to me like he did last week. But then again, Gord isn't here writing next to me like he did last week. Teams remain in China but this time they're supposed to head to Macau. Opening, opening, prizes, prizes, titles. On with the show.First off is, of course, Natalie and Meaghan, the Olympians. They leave at 12:02 pm and must find the A-ma Temple in Macau. Nice turbo jet boat. They get in a cab and discuss giving away the Express Pass. Too bad they used their own but I guess there was an unaired Double U-Turn in the previous leg, prompting that use. Although I still think they used it too early. Cormac and Nicole ("The Olympics are over") are off next, an hour behind, followed by the Twins 20 minutes later. They are hoping since they are also former athletes, there's a bond between them and the Olympians and they deserve the Express Pass more than anyone else. Sure, but remember what you did last week to the Dudes? That's gonna get around to the other teams.So the first Turbo Ferry leaves at 4 pm with a second at 4:30 so it seems some of the teams will catch up while others will still be behind. All the other teams leave, make jokes, save for Ryan and Rob, who are still kind of dull. But they still beat the Twins and get on the 4 pm ferry, who also get on, so no biggie. Left on the second ferry are Alain and Audrey, the Dudes, Rex and Bob and the Siblings. Jinder just out and asks for the Express Pass. Nice try.Over at the Temple, Jon is getting better at descriptions. Teams must set off fireworks to get their clue but the Olympians ask nicely to butt at the head of the line for cabs. The Twins then push Mom and Son out of the way to get a cab. But tough mom Nicole forces them out and the Twins sheepishly back out. Hope their mom gave them heck when she saw this episode. At the Temple, the Olympians act like me and my friends when we were kids, light something and run away. Go to the Macau Tower and search the grounds for the clue. Mom and Son, the Twins, and The Bartenders are right behind. The second ferry arrives and cabs head off. But the Olympians are at the tower. It's a Roadblock. One teammate must bungee 61storeys (764 feet) off the highest bungee jump in the world. That's pretty high, but I guess I'll be jumping while Gord will be watching. See at the bottom Gord, hope I don't pee my pants. Natalie jumps which is good cause last time Meaghan did something high she threw up, in the plane, while jumping and on the ground. But Natalie gets nervous as she steps onto the edge. She does it with ease and did not scream like a middle-aged dad. Then they have to make their way to Happiness Street (which is probably on the other end of Lonely Street) and search for the almond biscuit stand for the clue. I love almond biscuits, I would be on an eating task with those like a novelist on the free beer at a Festival hospitality suite. Off go the Olympians leaving everyone in the dust, again. The next three teams arrive and one of the twins jumps (sorry can't tell you apart although my kid says there's a difference in their accents), as does Cormac and Rob. Hopefully Rob will show more emotion as he jumps.  Anyway, the next group of teams set off the fireworks. Boom, boom boom. And off to the tower. Why are you whispering, Bob? Alain and Audrey can't find a cab so they decide to run. Never a good idea, grab a cab man. Michel falls and they are off to Happiness Street. Cormac's getting nervous, hiding his emotions from his mom. She knows he's worried cause you know, she's a mom, they know. Nice night shots. And it's a commercial, just where we expected. I bet he just jumps and the drama's in the editing. Oh no, there's a read more break, what's going to happen now?!

Yep, he does, with a little help (read push) from the folks (See how easy it is to build drama even with a little read more break). Over at Happiness Street, the Olympians are a little lost while the Siblings jump ahead. Jinder decides to take on the jump and yep Rob looks exactly the same he’s looked in every shot. Come on man, you’re falling off a huge tower in the dusk of a Macau night on Amazing Race Canada, show a little life. Anything, come on… uh, never mind.Jinder looks petrified. He’s screaming even before he jumps, he’s screaming all the way done, I bet he’s still screaming now. Less enthralled with Happiness Street, the Olympians are still lost while the Twins show up. Unlike last episode, when they misled the Dudes, the Twins decide to work with the girls. Of course, they want the Express Pass so nice move. If it works, I’ll be impressed. Looks like the fellow athlete thing is working although if I was an athlete, I would be a bit suspicious of another team of athletes because if you get to a certain level of competition, you’re probably a bit driven and ruthless. Although the girls play a team sport and the Twins were individual athletes. Different mind set, I guess.And speaking of different mindset, Mickey takes off his pants when he’s asked to empty all his pockets, exposing a nice pair of leopard skin gonch. Although when I’ve been asked to empty my pockets, it’s been the police, so taking off my pants would be a bad thing. Whatever floats your boat, man. More interesting than Rob. And off he goes. Can’t wait to see what Rex will do. Hey look, he jumps. Nice job.And oh yeah, there’s Alain and Audrey, they are still running. Still running!? Are you serious? You could find a cab in that 45 minute run. Insane. I guess they just want to lose. So Audrey is on the jump and more teams arrive at Happiness Street. It’s at this point when the Athletic Alliance finds the clue box. It’s a Detour: Stamp It or Stomp It. In Stamp It, teams must find the ruins of St. Paul, apparently it’s most treasured landmark. Although I thought the temple was pretty cool. And there, they will collect a scroll and search the narrow streets for six shrines which has a different stamp. One each on the scroll and you’re done.

In Stomp It, teams must find Senado Square to learn and perform folk dance. Okay, it’s Stamp for Gord and Wayne; better at finding stuff than choreography. Also, Gord 6’7″+ so he can see over everyone. The Athletic Alliance head to Stomp It and the boys make a play for the Express Pass. The Olympians are seriously considering it and are being played easily by these guys. Especially since the Twins say that if they don’t get the Express Pass, they will U-Turn them. Wonder what Meaghan and Natalie thought about when seeing that on TV tonight? But whoa, the Twins are really playing a good game.

Natalie is getting confused while also saying she’s not got at this kind of stuff. So why do it? The boys have disappeared. Ryan and Rob get the clue and decide to Stomp It. And it’s not working out for Olympians; neither for the Twins. Meanwhile Audrey is up there and off. Man, that looks like fun. At least they get a cab this time. More bad dancing, more teams choosing to Stomp It. But the worse move is when the Siblings walk right past the clue box. I mean it’s right there, right next to you, that box that looks like those things on Amazing Race, every Amazing Race! Come on, it’s right there! How could… and off they go, out of the shop and down the street.

Finally, there’s a bit of emotion from Ryan and Rob, well mostly from Ryan. They show his drag personas and talk about his sketch comedy but I still haven’t seen much life from this team. More bad dancing and the Olympians are freaking out. And sucking at it. Don’t know why they didn’t choose Stamp it. But they actually get it done on the third try. See, I know nothing. Head to the Grand Lapa Hotel and find the Fan-Tan Table. And just by watching the game, they must watch a dealer sort buttons to determine the winning number. And a bunch of other stuff I didn’t understand. Ohh, tough, never heard of Fan-Tan although I did spend a lot of time in casinos researching my novels Fall From Grace and A Killing Winter. Hey come on, got monetize this blog post a little bit.

Back to the race. On Happiness Street, more teams search while Rex and Bob find the clue. Of course they are going to do Stomp It. The Siblings yell out for help, but no way will Rex and Bob help them. I mean why? You know, despite what they say about us polite Canadians, we play hard, unlike some teams in the US version who help everyone and their dog.

But it’s right there, Jinder, you were looking right at it. Pointing at it, don’t walk away, no come back… aww man. That’s pathetic. And praying won’t help cause you already found it. More bad dancing and the dancer (and the dental worker)  show up. He worries about what other dancers will think but you’re the dancer, Bob’s a dental worker. They fail. And so the Dudes join with the Siblings and instantly the Dudes find a route marker and then they find the clue box. Yeah Sukhi and Jinder, right where you were walking and standing next too. At least Alain and Audrey are still out there, somewhere. I mean, where are they? Still running?

More Stomp It. After six attempts the Twins get the dance. Off to the Fan-Tan where the Olympians are. They look confused. And there are Alain and Audrey, nice to see them but they can’t see the clue box. They walk right by it… no wait, they see it. Phew, almost pulled a Sukhi and Jinder. They also take Stomp It. At the dance, Mom and Son are dancing while Mickey says “Oh my God” 8 billion times. This surfer dude accent is really getting on my nerves. They switch. And it’s no to Cormac and Nicole. The Siblings also switch. So do Alain and Audrey.

Off they go. The Dude Siblings start to work together but they start to ‘Harsh the mellow” of the Dudes. So the Dudes leave them behind. Ryan and Rob finish the dance, the Twins up to Fan-Tan. The Olympians try the task and fail. They watch again. Siblings and Dudes both have one stamp. Alain and Audrey can’t find the shrine which is right behind them. So they consider switching again. Mom and Son are still trying while Rex and Bob get the task done. On the 4th try one must say. More commercial break drama with Cormac and Nicole. I bet they get it right after the commeric

Told ya. Another Amazing Race Canada editing trope. Gotta be a bit more creative in the suite, folks. Over to Fan-Tan where the Olympians seem to have gotten the idea. Wonder if the Twins watched and learned from them? So they have to traverse the underground passageway to find the hidden traffic circle known as Praca de Ferreira do Amaral. That took time for get that exactly right. Jon will be there with pitstop and when he says may, he’s telling the truth. For the last week, I’ve been predicting non-elimination.

Sukhi and Jinder have five stamps and she keeps repeating the man over and over and over. But they find the sixth one, while the Dudes get theirs. So do Alain and Audrey. The Olympians get to the hotel but are lost finding the underground entrance. All the other teams are at the Fan-Tan. Teams look confused. Sukhi and Jinder plead, I mean, plead for help from Rex and Bob. Good luck with that. Figure it out on your own cause it’s a race.

Ryan and Rob figure it out and Sukhi ask them to help so Rob does. Not surprised. But she can’t understand what he’s saying. Don’t know why, he’s got no inflection in his voice, should be pretty easy. Down the Olympians go but turn away from the parkade. While Ryan and Rob ask for directions. It’s a race to the mat, Jon does a Phil “look at that” point and it’s the Olympians again in first, their fourth. Hope they’re remembering landmarks where the pitstops were located cause I’m guessing that’s the final task. And the girls get a business class trip to Tokyo with $3k to spend. Ryan and Rob are second, boring but moving up.

Back at Fan-Tan and teams are having trouble. Bob tells about his gambling upbringing and it works for them. Again, Sukhi asks for help. Cormac and Nicole also get it. Again, Jon points and Rex and Bob are third. The Twins finally get it after their fifth try while Cormac and Nicole are fourth to the mat. The Dudes figure it out on the first try. Despite their surfer dude patter, they are smart. Although they get the name of the hotel wrong to the cabbie. All that’s left are Sukhi and Jinder with Alain and Audrey. “Please tell us, Please tell us.” Didn’t think it would happen because this is Amazing Race Canada not Amazing Race US. The final two teams don’t help each other. Sukhi and Jinder have gotten on my nerves; I’m surprised at that. Watch and learn. Don’t rely on others to help in the race.

The Twins are 5th, the Dudes are 6th. Alain and Audrey figure out fan-Tan and can’t find a taxi. Are they are going to run again? And finally, the Siblings get done and run in the opposite directions. Taxis chase each other. Teams are looking for the entrance, down the stairs. Jon points with his nose. It’s Alain and Audrey in 7th. Sukhi and Jinder are last, but since Jon pauses too much, it’s a non-elimination leg. Not surprising this was the same place they put one of these last season. But the Siblings got lucky. They can’t expect other teams to help them. And they’ll have to do a Speed Bump in the next leg without sounding too desperate.

And then we’re back to Canada, off to the Yukon where there is drama with the Express Pass. Looks like Rex and Bob don’t get it. See ya then.

Please note that this post, along with video recaps, interviews and commentary from Cory Mitic, is also at http://amazingracecanwithgordandwayne.weebly.com

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